Engagement Ring Etiquette: Here's Everything You Need to Know
Every year in America more than 2 million people get married. But before a wedding, there is usually an engagement and, importantly, an engagement ring.
An engagement ring is more than just a piece of jewelry. It symbolizes how you feel about the person you are giving it to, so you have to put time and care into choosing yours. Understanding engagement ring etiquette will ensure that you always choose the perfect ring for your partner.
So what is the etiquette for engagement rings? Read on to find out more.
A Brief History of Engagement Rings
People have been using engagement or betrothal rings since Ancient Egyptian times. Back then, people used to tie reeds or other similar plants around their ring fingers as a symbol of their love.
This finger was chosen because people used to believe that it contained a vein leading straight to your heart. So you can understand why people liked the symbolism of this.
Because of this, engagement rings have already been a powerful symbol of love and commitment for the people wearing them.
This is also a wonderful way to acknowledge the moment that you decided to commit yourselves to one another. Wedding rings are often more simple and are secondary to your wedding vows. In comparison, the design of engagement rings reflects the importance of this moment of commitment.
In 1477, the Archduke Maximillian of Austria took engagement ring design to new heights when he proposed to his beloved Mary of Burgundy. Their engagement ring was the first to featured diamonds, which were set in the shape of an 'M'. Since then, extravagant styles of engagement rings have become more and more popular.
That said, the style of engagement rings has changed significantly over time. For example, before World War II only 10% of engagement rings contained diamonds. Nowadays diamonds are a common feature.
So how do you pick a ring for your future fiance that will stand the test of time? Let's take a look at engagement ring etiquette that will help you choose a ring.
Always Keep Your Future Fiance in Mind
It is important to remember that you are buying a wedding ring for your fiance. This means that you need to take their tastes into account and this might mean that you choose a ring that doesn't quite match your own.
Sometimes partners will drop hints about the types of engagement rings they do and don't like. So it's important to listen out for these clues.
You might also want to take a look at the other types of jewelry that they own and wear regularly. This can tell you a lot about the colors they like and whether they prefer gold or silver jewelry.
You want their engagement ring to stand out from their other jewelry. So try to avoid going for anything that matches the jewelry they already own too exactly.
Speak to a Loved One
Getting engaged and choosing a ring is a huge personal step for anyone, so it's a good idea to speak to a loved one about this.
If you or your partner hold more traditional views then you might want to speak to their family before you propose. This is a nice way to bring their family in on your plan and get their advice on the ring.
A close friend or sibling of your partner will be able to give you tips about their personal taste. Of course, this needs to be someone that you get on well with and are willing to stand your ground with when making a final decision.
If you are going to speak to a loved one make sure to keep this to one or two people at most. The last thing you want is for someone to let the cat out of the bag before you propose!
How Much Should You Spend on an Engagement Ring?
You may be familiar with the blanket statement that people should spend three month's salary on an engagement ring. On average, millennials in America spend $3,000 on engagement rings.
However, how much you choose to spend depends a lot on your salary and your personal circumstances. Bankrupting yourself to buy the perfect ring is not something you want to do, especially just before you start saving for a wedding!
To figure out how much you can afford to spend, you should look at your monthly salary and think about how much you can realistically save each month. This might mean that you have to spend longer saving but it'll pay off in the end.
Understanding the Four C's
If you are buying a diamond ring for your fiance, you need to keep the four C's in mind. These are:
- Cut
- Color
- Clarity
- Carat
The cut of a diamond will affect how it looks (and importantly how it sparkles!) in a ring. The cut of a diamond can be measured using the GIA's grading scale. This rates diamonds from excellent to poor — ideally you don't want to go for anything less than good.
The size and cut of a diamond will also affect what color it seems to be. However, some diamonds are more yellow than others. This might be exactly what you're looking for, but if not you should colorless diamonds with a D to an F rating.
The clarity of a diamond will also affect the way that it shines and blemishes or inclusions inside the gem will impact this. Some blemishes are only visible under magnification, so you might not worry about these as much. If a diamond has noticeable blemishes to the naked eye you might want to avoid it altogether.
Finally, we have carat, which is probably the term you are most familiar with. A diamond's carats actually refer to its weight rather than its size, although bigger diamonds will obviously weigh more. Each carat is equal to 0.2 grams.
Larger diamonds will generally cost more. That said, two of the same carat diamonds can have different prices. This is because the cut, color, and clarity all affect the quality of a diamond.
Choosing a Stone for Their Ring
Of course, a diamond isn't your only option for a stone when choosing an engagement ring.
You might want to go for a different colored gemstone instead. These can be less expensive while equally striking as diamond rings. Your partner's personal preferences might help you decide on a gemstone for their ring.
Sapphire and topaz are great choices for blue gemstones. If they like reds, then you might want to look for rings containing rubies, garnets, or carnelians. If greens are more their thing then jade, emeralds, and tsavorite garnets should be on your list.
You may want to combine colored gemstones with small diamonds for some extra glamor. Or you can keep things simple with a striking colored gemstone. For something really special, why not take a look at color-changing gemstones?
Choosing a Ring Material
A lot of people focus on gemstone designs when choosing an engagement ring. After all, this is the first thing that draws your eye to a ring. However, it is a good idea to think carefully about the band material as well.
Some popular engagement ring band materials include:
- Gold or gold plating
- Platinum
- Silver
- Titanium
- Zirconium
- Tungsten
The material of a ring isn't just about aesthetics. It is has a big impact on how long a ring will last. The last thing you want is to give your fiance a ring that turns their skin green.
Plating on rings can also rub away with time so a gold-plated ring might lose its shine after a while. So it is always worth checking how easy it is to clean an engagement ring, especially as this is a piece of jewelry that should stand the test of time!
It is also important to check whether or not your future fiance has any allergies to certain metals. Around 15% of Americans are allergic to gold, for example. The last thing you want is to give your fiance a ring that will bring them out in hives!
Keep an Eye on Rising Trends
If your partner has a lot of more modern views about fashion then it's worth reading up on some of the latest engagement ring trends. While diamonds used to be a popular choice, now some of the favorites include:
- Simple, band-style engagement rings
- Personalized rigs
- Classic ring styles with a modern gemstone cut
- Heirloom rings and heirloom-inspired designs
- Small side stones in place of a single-center stone
- Yellow gold bands
Most of all, you want to choose something that your fiance will love now and in the future. This is the best way to ensure you find a timeless piece of jewelry.
Should You Buy a Second-Hand Ring?
Some people consider buying second-hand engagement rings as bad luck but this could actually save you a lot of money. And some people love the idea of buying jewelry with a bit of history about it.
There's nothing to say that a second-hand ring that has been looked after is worth any less than a new ring. You just might want to take it for a special cleaning before you propose.
If your fiance's family has an heirloom ring then you might want to think about using this. Or you can use the gemstones from an heirloom ring to create a new personalized ring from scratch. This is a great way to incorporate family history into a ring that your fiance will really love.
Don't Panic About Ring Size
Often people think that one of the things to know when buying a ring is your partner's ring size. However, measuring this can be a challenge to try not to panic about it.
Getting a ring resized is fairly easy and won't cost the earth. If you do buy a second-hand ring then you may have to do this anyway.
There is no subtle way to measure your partner's actual finger. That said, you can get a rough idea of their ring size by measuring the diameter of other rings that they have. If you aren't sure how to do this, you can always take one of their rings into a jeweler for measuring.
Picking a Ring Together
Traditionally, the partner who is proposing usually buys a ring in advance but there's nothing to say that you have to do this.
In fact, picking out a ring together can be a wonderful first activity to do after an engagement. This also means that you can be sure your fiance will find a ring that they love.
If you do this, you might want to have a token ring on you. This might be a beautiful reed ring or a joke candy ring. Whatever you choose, make sure that you go for something that will show your partner that you've put thought into your proposal.
Always Get Insurance for Your Ring
An engagement ring is often an expensive purchase, so it is very important that you get insurance for this as soon as possible.
If you have homeowner's insurance, you might be able to add this as a valuable item. You can also get specific insurance for your engagement and wedding rings if you don't want your partner to see any policy updates before you propose.
Find the Perfect Ring With the Help of Engagement Ring Etiquette
As you can see, when it comes to engagement ring etiquette there is a lot to remember. However, keeping these things in mind will help you to find the perfect ring for your future fiance.
Try not to rush this process. Taking time to do your research and speak to different jewelers will all pay off in the long run.
Ready to find the perfect ring for your partner? Then take a look at our brilliant selection of engagement rings now.